Weight Loss Products
If you actually considered this, you should be slapped. No one wants their boo to hint at a lingering weight problem on Valentine’s Day. Steer clear.
If she has rank breath, keep it to yourself this Valentine’s Day. Find a subtle way to let her know. Only a total buffoon would gift a bottle of Listerine on V-Day.
The easy way for the one you love to get just what they want, right? Wrong. Put some thought into the gift. You’ll get a much better reaction than from a couple of tens stuffed in a cheesy card.
What better gift to give her than one she can make you dinner with? Anything is better than that, you idiot.
You would really be asking for it if you were to hint at your hairless honey’s balding problem on Valentine’s Day. Wait until later to have the Rogaine talk.
Lingerie might seem like the go-to gift of this Hallmark holiday. But that’s just the problem. A cliche little lacey thing is a bit thoughtless, and possibly a little offensive to the woman of your dreams. Remind her you love the way she looks in anything; don’t shove a slutty piece of sex clothing in her face.
Puppies, Kittens or Other Living Things
Unless your partner in love has expressed a desire for a new pet, stay away from anything that poops. Giving your boo a high-maintenance living thing could be disastrous.
These were cute when you were 6 and promised Mom three room-cleanings for her birthday. But at, say 26, a coupon for a back rub is just disappointing. You should provide all your loving for free, no coupon needed.
Do Not Re-gift
Have an old lover’s gift stashed in your closet? Do not give it to your new lover, even if your ex never received it. Sell it, swap it, or trade it; but come up with some new material for your current honey. Trust me, she’ll know if it wasn’t meant for her.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
So do not do it on Valentine’s Day. If it must be done, get it over with at least a week before.