It’s acceptable to debate the finer points of a movie and its value once its over, but it’s a total waste of time arguing about anything movie night-related before the movie even starts. The majority of these fights seem to relate to what genre of movie to watch, who’s in it, where to watch it, how graphic it is, and how long its running time is. The best means of avoiding stupid arguments about any of these things is to work out some sort of pre-arranged give-and-take schedule for movie night satisfaction (i.e. I get Jason Statham tonight, and you get Reese Witherspoon next movie night).
Sadly, you’ll probably discover even this sort of agreed upon arrangement has flaws, and you’ll still end up in a heated movie night argument about something totally inane.
Who Works Harder
Don’t ever argue with your other half about which one of you works harder at your job, school, or around the house. These arguments are destined for cataclysmic doom and never get resolved.
The best ways to avoid such a fate are to:
- Never admit to being tired.
- Never chuckle when your other half says she has had a long day.
- Never compare her daily schedule to your daily schedule.
How Much to Tip
Chances are you or your other half will at some point be dissatisfied with the service you are provided at a bar or a restaurant at some point in your relationship. You go into the evening, and all is well and primed for a lovely night out. Unfortunately, you’ll encounter the waiter who constantly disappears, undercooked burgers, and bartenders with misanthropic attitudes.
Arguments occur in these situations because the couple disagrees over how much should be left as a tip for terrible service. Somehow, it always works out that one half of the couple seems to think the tip should be roughly zero, while the other half is a characteristically good tipper and feels the tip should be on just the underside of fair.
If you’re ever in this situation, bite the bullet and do whatever your other half seems to want. Failing to do so is far, far more trouble than its worth.
Guys, if you’re watching the game with your girlfriend and she blows a gasket about the trashy peddling of fast food with sexy women fellating Memphis BBQ burgers in a Hardee’s commercial, don’t even bother trying to argue with her or whine about it.
Just change the channel for 30 seconds and let her win.
Hypothetical Celebrity Hook-up
Many couples play the entertaining game of Top 5 Celebrities, where each partner lists five celebrities she could hypothetically (and without fault) hook up with should an encounter happen.
It’s an entertaining game that gives you insight into the people your girlfriend finds most attractive. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your lists and having a laugh. Unfortunately, guys never seem to have a problem with their girlfriends having a crush on Ryan Gosling or Alexander Skarsgard, but women will make a guy’s life pure Hell every time Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johansson shows up in a movie or on a magazine cover.
There is absolutely no reason for a couple to ever argue about anything Nickelback-related. Both parties should be in total agreement that Nickelback sucks.
Eating the Last of Anything
It’s a wholly useless endeavor to ever argue about which party ate or drank the last of anything (peanut butter, leftover pizza, wine, etc.).
As with any other argument, this one also leads to bigger and badder things. The few dollars and minutes it will cost you to go get more of the food in question will cost much less than the toll it will take to engage in such an argument.
Arguing about any aspect of any hit reality TV show, whether it’s ‘American Idol,’ ‘The Voice,’ ‘X Factor,’ or ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ is just about rock bottom for a relationship. If you’re arguing about who should advance to the semi-finals on ‘American Idol,’ you may as well just call it quits.
As the fine print says on psychic hotline infomercials and at the bottom of most horoscopes, they are for “entertainment purposes only.” If you’re referencing your horoscope to get the upper hand in an argument with your girlfriend, you are completely wasting your time.