Keep It Real
Dating a single mom is a completely unique experience that can be both extremely difficult and extremely rewarding. However, men need to know that relationships with single mothers are unlike anything we’ve experienced before. You can’t just use your usual game and expect it to work! Instead, use these tips to give your new relationship a fighting chance.
No matter what approach you take when dating a single mom, you need to make sure that you’re honest and not playing any games. Single moms will be able to spot a player a mile away, so just be sincere and upfront about your intentions. She’ll appreciate your honesty and might even grant you a first date. If you eventually meet her kid(s), you had better treat them the same way. You can sugar coat things a little for younger kids, but at least show enough respect not to lie to them.
Expect a relationship with a single mom to move very slowly and have a lot of interruptions. She will have a lot of priorities in her life that come in line before you, so don’t expect for her to drop everything for your sake. Don’t take this as an insult, and just learn to be flexible. If she wants you in her life, she will find a way to spend time with you. The crucial skills here are good communication, persistence, and plenty of patience.
Know Your Role
Once you’ve started dating a single mom, you need to remember that you’re still an outsider in the relationship. Make sure not to overstep your bounds at any point — even if that means that things progress more slowly than you would like. Dating a single mom is not all about you, in fact, it’s really not about you at all. The woman is in control here, so let her make all the important moves. This doesn’t mean that you can’t discuss these issues, but the single mom ultimately makes the decisions.
Expect a DTR Talk
Defining the relationship always happens at some point in the dating process, but single moms are likely to bust out this talk earlier than usual. A single mom doesn’t have time to mess around, and she needs to know if you’re serious or not before investing her time or emotions. This is a good time to be honest, because you’ll regret lying when you’re in way over your head a few months down the road. Yes, all men hate to have “the talk,” but it’s an important step you need to take.
Just because a single mom usually can’t be bothered to spend much time on her makeup doesn’t mean that she’s given up on romance. Every woman still wants to be treated like a princess, so don’t think you can get away with skipping the romantic stuff. If you’re short on ideas, here are a few tried and tested favorites:
- Giver her a dozen roses and chocolate truffles.
- Make her a warm candlelit bath.
- Leave short love notes for her.
- Serve breakfast in bed.
Do just a few of these romantic acts, and she won’t be able to help falling for you.
Help Around the House
While romantic acts might make a woman attracted to you, being domestic will really seal the deal. Take some time to help her around the house, and she’ll know that you’re a keeper. Simple things like taking out the garbage, vacuuming, or cooking meals are a big deal to a single mom. It will show that you’re willing and ready to get tied down to a normal life.
Spend Time With the Kids
Last and certainly not least, you need to develop a good relationship with a single mom’s children. Her kids could eventually become your kids, and that’s something you need to take seriously. Take just as much time as you devote to the mom for the kids, and really get to know them. It’s likely that the kids will reject you at first, but they’ll come around if you manage to take an honest interest in their lives and hobbies. Show that you can be a good dad without trying to replace their biological father. Spending quality time with the kids will also net you big points with any single mom.