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How to Catch a Cheater

Watch For Clues

Does something seem a little off between you and your special someone, but you just can’t put your finger on it? Could it be that you simply have an overactive imagination, or is he/she really up to something? It’s always good to trust your gut, but don’t jump to conclusions just yet.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is exhibiting more than a couple of these signs, your alarm bells are probably going off:

  • Noticeably less communication
  • Looking nervous when his/her cell phone rings
  • Being less or more interested in sex
  • Noticeable difference in the way his/her friends act around you
  • Has started lying about things
  • Putting in longer hours at work or traveling more than usual
  • Accusing you of cheating
  • Suddenly putting more effort into his/her appearance
  • Being noticeably less affectionate
  • Starts hanging out with a mysterious “friend” who you have not been introduced to
  • Gets defensive when you ask where he/she has been
  • Making less time for you
  • Suddenly having a lot of errands to run frequently

Before you take action on your significant other’s suspicious behavior, take some time to think about this and decide if these signs are real and not in your head. Remember that once you accuse your partner of cheating, there is no going back

If you’re ready, read on to catch that dirty cheater!

Confront Him/Her

If you’re like most of us, you’ll be seeing red if you suspect that your so-called sweetie, make that dirty rotten cheater, is betraying your love and trust. Time to confront him/her on it! But be aware that, although confronting him/her could work in your favor, venting your rage could backfire.

Here are some of the “better” possible outcomes:

  • He/she immediately confesses to wrongdoing, tells you everything, apologizes profusely, is wracked with guilt, instantly changes his or her ways, more than makes it up to you, and you both live happily ever after.
  • Alternatively, he/she is happily innocent, isn’t bothered by your accusations, and sees it as an opportunity to work together to improve your relationship.

On the other hand, you may be less lucky:

  • He/she is guilty but vehemently denies it and works even harder to cover up any evidence of cheating.
  • Or, he/she is guilty but is relieved you brought it up and promptly leaves you for good
  • He/she is innocent but is now furious with you for even suggesting the possibility of cheating, adding to your already numerous relationship woes.

Given these possibilities, it could be risky to voice your fears straight away. To guarantee you catch your cheater, you’re going to have to gather your evidence, and more importantly, be sneaky!

Play It Cool

If you’re even slightly suspicious that you’ve got a cheater on your hands, it’s going to be hard for you to be patient. Your first instinct will be to get them to ‘fess up straight away.

Hold your horses!

Now’s the time to use those great acting skills of yours and appear as normal as possible, even though you may be experiencing inner turmoil. Be calm! Meanwhile, get your facts straight.

Hire A Private Investigator

We’ve all seen private investigators hired to find cheaters in movies, and you too can use this approach, especially if you don’t want to do the dirty work yourself.

This option can be very expensive, so unless you’ve got loads of spare cash lying around, it’s probably back to the drawing board!

Sift Through Clothing

How sweet of you to do a load of laundry for your honey while he/she is in the shower, and what a perfect opportunity for you to check the contents of his/her pockets. Who knows what receipts or little notes you might find. While you’re at it, give those shirts a once over for lipstick or other types of stains. A quick “sniff test” will alert you to unexpected perfumes or colognes.

Browse His/Her Computer

Technology is your friend in your quest for the truth, but you should get legal advice before digging around in your significant other’s private business or trying any of the following:

  • If you know your partner’s password, you potentially have access to incriminating emails, including forgotten ones in the deleted items folder.
  • His/her Internet search history may also make for some very interesting reading, like frequently visited Facebook pages.
  • If he/she forgot to empty the computer’s trash can, it’s possible to “virtually” go through his/her trash, finding notes, pictures or other proof.
  • Careless use of Facebook may even reveal photos with other romantic interests that he/she forgot to untag or posts and comments on someone’s wall or photos.

Search the Cell Phone

Your partner’s mobile device is a potential minefield of information about his/her habits, innocent or otherwise.

Although legally dubious, when you get the chance for some “alone time” with your boo’s cellphone, you might be tempted to check the contacts list and sent and received messages and calls.

Items of interest include:

  • frequently called numbers
  • strange phone numbers
  • suggestive messages
  • incriminating voicemails

Manhandle the Mail

It might be a federal offense to open someone’s mail (and tricky to do without it being obvious), but if you’re in this to win it, you might take the risk. A safer bet is to keep a close eye on those credit card and phone bills after he/she opens them so that you can sneak a peek. Where he/she is spending money and how much his/her phone bill has skyrocketed are good indicators that he/she is trying to please someone other than you.

Ransack His/Her Car

If you get the chance, you should definitely scope out his/her car for evidence. Long blonde hairs that aren’t yours, a change of clothes, receipts, or even garbage may give you all the clues you need to piece the puzzle together.

Follow Him/Her

Are you ready to find out what’s really going on once and for all? If so, it’s time for the true detective work to begin

Fool your deceiving partner into thinking that you’re on your way out the door or off to take a shower, then sneak back to listen in and see what happens when your babe thinks he/she is alone. You can also follow your partner when you think he/she is up to no good. But you should go in disguise and keep a safe distance. Your chances of getting caught are very high.

Once you have gathered your evidence, confront your partner, get things out in the open, and move on with your life. 

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