First Date Conversation
When it comes to the nuances of the first date, the topics of conversation are the key to whether or not the date will be a successful one. If you talk about the wrong thing, the following could happen:
- You scare the person off.
- You intimidate the person.
- You reveal far too much information.
- You get into an argument that ruins all chances of a relationship (or second date).
The first date is your chance to shine; to discover whether or not this person is a good fit for you in the long run. It’s important to stay on track with your conversation!
Your Love For Cats
Unless your main goal is to be rejected for your crazy cat lady tendencies, you should keep your feline adoration on the down low until later on in the relationship. It’s okay to say that cats are cute in passing, but do not monopolize the entire conversation with tales of Fluffy and Squirt’s antics when you adopted a third cat last weekend.
The latter will inevitably lead to your date assuming the following about how you operate:
- You’re bordering on clinically insane.
- You’ll be even more clingy than his/her last relationship.
- You’re an obsessive person who will probably make his or her life hell.
- You’re desperate for love.
Keep that information to yourself for a while. If you don’t, you probably won’t get asked out on a second date… and he or she may just get up and walk out right then and there.
Your Weight Problem
Newsflash, genius: if you’re overweight or underweight, your date already knows. They can see you. They can tell whether you’re on the flabby side or your bones are jutting out of every crevice. They get it. You don’t need to inform them. Keep away from talk of the following:
- How much weight you’ve lost
- How much weight you’ve gained
- What diet plan you’re on
- How much you work out
- How ugly you think you are
That talk will serve no purpose at all except to make the person think you’re incredibly insecure and needy. With all of the other possible topics of conversation in the world, why would you ever talk about your weight?
Give your date some credit. They wanted to be with you as you are. Stop convincing them that they made the wrong decision.
Your Desire For Babies
If you think it’s perfectly normal to inform someone on the first date that you are dying to have kids as soon as possible,you shouldn’t be allowed to date. Most people don’t want to hear about baby deadlines on the first date, for good reason:
- It’s the first date! That is too much too soon. Relax.
- You don’t even know if you want to have babies with this person yet! They could be a psycho murderer for all you know.
- They just want to see if they like you, not if they’ll like your unborn children.
Actually, avoid all talk of babies altogether. Don’t discuss how many kids you eventually want to have, how much you love your baby nephew, or how your doctor says you need to conceive in the next two years or you’ll dry up.
Just enjoy each other’s company and see if there’s a connection! You can always talk baby talk farther down the road.
Your Sexual History
Unless you’re the type to put out on the first date, the sexual histories of both parties involved should not be discussed! You may think it’s super sexy to talk about how many men you’ve humped or how many chicks you’ve drilled, but here’s the truth:
It’s not sexy at all.
Try talking about something normal, like, oh, what you do for work, or your favorite hobbies. Talk about where you went to school or what kind of music you like. Don’t talk about that one time when you did position 34 in the bushes outside of the movie theater with your ex-flame. Things will get awkward real fast.
Just like your current date doesn’t need to know all about every person you’ve nailed in your lifetime, they especially don’t need to hear about your most recent ex. It’s generally assumed that people who discuss their ex on a first (or second, or third) date are still overly obsessed with their ex. Is that really the message you want to get across?
They also might think that:
- There’s something wrong with you.
- You can’t have a lasting relationship.
- You’re not emotionally available.
- You’re comparing them to your ex.
So forget about the past and live in the moment, instead!
If you already know that you and your date agree on politics, you can make an exception. Otherwise, don’t even bring it up! Politics is one of the most divisive subjects possible, and you probably don’t want to get into a heated debate over liberal vs conservative policy, gay rights, or abortion on the first date.
It is important to talk about this eventually because many people take their political beliefs very seriously. But on the first date, find something less controversial to discuss.
Similarly to politics, religion is a controversial topic that can be an exception to the rule. For the most part, it’s best to avoid conversations about religion due to the heated nature of the topic and the many opinons and beliefs that surround it.
The exception, though, is if you are very serious about your beliefs, and they will have an affect on who you are willing to date and/or marry. For example, if you are a Christian and will only date other Christians, it is probably important to get that information up front.
But if religion has no affect on who you will or won’t date, steer clear of the topic at all costs. Otherwise, you could easily start off on the wrong foot.